Reconnect with Your Authentic Self

Heart with keyIf you’ve read any of my other posts categorized under “Constructive Wallowing,” you’ll know how happy and excited I was to read the following post by Tim McAuley.

(It was reblogged by Mary Rogers on her blog, Bipolar Lessons, which is how I came across it.)

In this post, Tim takes on two pieces of common self-help wisdom, “You just have to be positive” and “Just fake it till you make it.”

Tim writes, “Before you can cultivate a positive mindset you must first honor where you are and the journey that brought you here.” Read More

How to Soothe Yourself

Be there for yourselfHere’s a way to soothe anxiety that doesn’t alienate people, destroy your liver or stunt your emotional growth.

Whenever I’ve had a difficult conversation with someone important to me, or even an unpleasant interaction with a stranger,  I tend to feel a little queasy emotionally.

If I pay attention, I usually find I’m feeling anxious in some way about what happened. Did I say or do the wrong thing? Did I do damage? Should I have done x, y or z instead? Read More

We Are Not Brains

ugly brain
Want a hug?

As a mental health counselor, and as a human being, I’m tired of hearing about the human brain.

Nowadays you can’t discuss depression, anxiety, resilience or even a bad day without someone bringing up brain chemistry.

A counselor can’t swing a box of Kleenex without hitting a professional training on “The Neurobiology of Narcissism” or “The Angry Brain.”

It’s as if we’re all just walking, talking, jiggling gray matter ruled by chemicals — mindless, soulless biological phenomena instead of human beings. Read More

Are You Keeping Secrets From Yourself?

This is a continuation of How to Feel Whole (September 2012).

One way to stay whole is to refuse to keep secrets from yourself.

You know what it feels like to keep secrets.

It’s trying not think about something that’s uncomfortable to think about, or taking a different perspective on something in order NOT to feel the way you feel.

The problem with keeping secrets like this is that you actually need to know the things you’re trying not to know. Read More