Psychotherapist, Author, Estrangement Specialist
The need for validation, whether conscious or not, is universal. We all want to feel acceptable, worthy, and not-kooky in other people’s eyes. But what is validation, anyway? Most of us are a little fuzzy on this concept, and for good reason: Validation can be hard to come by in everyday life. Let’s talk first about what validation feels like on the receiving end, and then we’ll look at how to do it. Validation is …
As a psychotherapist, my work frequently involves watching people cry. I probably spend as much on Kleenex every year as other professionals spend on printer paper. Far from being fazed by tears, I welcome them because I know how healing they can be. But that hasn’t always been the case… A Short History of My Awkward Cluelessness I entered adulthood as the original Uncomfortable Witness. Since we didn’t cry in my home when I was …
Here’s a way to soothe anxiety that doesn’t alienate people, destroy your liver or stunt your emotional growth. Whenever I’ve had a difficult conversation with someone important to me, or even an unpleasant interaction with a stranger, I tend to feel a little queasy emotionally. If I pay attention, I usually find I’m feeling anxious in some way about what happened. Did I say or do the wrong thing? Did I do damage? Should I …