Do You Have an Inner Bully?

Bully tripping someoneOne day, almost 20 years ago, I was standing on a corner waiting for the light to change so I could cross the street.

I was spaced out, not thinking about much of anything, when I suddenly heard a faint voice inside my head.

It wasn’t so much a voice as a feeling. But it had a definite message.

Out of nowhere, it said to me, “You suck.”

Short, but not sweet.

This was how I learned I had low self-esteem; I heard a bully talking to me, from right inside my own head! Read More

The Surest Way Not to Teach Kids Respect

ashamed girlI’m still on holiday this week, but in my absence I wanted to leave you with something nutritious to chew on.

Since I’m too busy whooping it up on vacation to moderate comments, they’re not available for this post.

However, you can leave comments over on

Shaming Children Is Emotionally Abusive

Next week I’ll share something on the lighter side.

Photo courtesy of
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Self-Esteem Means How Much You Like… Others?

two people touching nosesI am most generous when I feel a sense of abundance.

I’m at my kindest when I have compassion for myself.

When I feel good about who I am, I radiate love toward other people.

But when I feel bad about myself, when I let myself down, I have less to give. So I give less.

The Mirror Effect of Self-Esteem

While self-esteem doesn’t change overnight the way moods do, I believe there’s a similar mirror effect between self-esteem and esteem for other people. Read More

Uncover Your Natural Self-Esteem

girl with magnifying glassWhat is self-esteem anyway, and how do you get it back once you’ve lost it?

Let me begin by saying that psychology’s definition of self-esteem has always bothered me.

It’s usually defined as a sort of self-evaluation of worth, often based on achievement.

I assume psychologists settled on that definition because it’s something they can measure.

They’re free to measure what they like of course, but I don’t believe they’re measuring actual self-esteem.

Authentic Self Esteem

In my mind, evaluation and achievement have little to do with authentic self esteem. Read More