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Tag Archives: rejection by adult child

Parent-Child Estrangement Is Sometimes (But Not Always) About Abuse

Girl, upset, with mother in backgroundI received the following feedback last week about an excerpt from my Guide for Parents of Estranged Adult Children, and I wanted to respond.

Unfortunately, the feedback was anonymous.

Surely this person is not alone. So I thought I’d respond with a blog post…

S/he wrote:

I read through your entire page on Estrangement and I’ve got to say that it all felt a bit like you’re condoning the behaviour of abusive parents; telling them they need not feel any remorse for the suffering they’ve caused and they need to practice more self-compassion.

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Estrangement Takes Two, Part 2

Being cut off from someone you love is not only painful but apparently common, judging from the amount of feedback I receive about the estrangement advice on my website.

In that article, I advise the person who’s been cut off and wants to reconcile to act on all those good cliches: turn the other cheek, be the bigger person, and do whatever it takes to apologize and make amends.*

Outraged By Estrangement

Well.

That advice riles many readers. Read More

Estrangement Takes Two

If someone has cut you off, and the two of you aren’t speaking, it can feel like something is being done to you. It’s like you’re the victim and they’re the perpetrator.

But if you take a step back and look at the entire picture over time, it’s probably not quite like that.

Two Perpetrators, Two Victims

Do you have an email, mailing address, website, or phone number for the person?

Do you know where they work or play? Read More

When Adult Children Won’t Talk to Their Parents

Photo of estrangement by T. GilbertsonThere’s an article about estrangement on my website that gets more feedback than any article I’ve written before or since. In that article, I offer strategies for the person who’s been cut off by someone and wants to get back together.

The gist of it is this: Like it or not, whether you agree with them or not, the “cutter-offer” perceives a reason for cutting you off.  If you want to reunite, it’s up to you to make amends rather than expecting them to see the error of their ways. Read More