How We Change

Coins in hand
Some change comes easy… but psychological change doesn’t.

I’ve been thinking about some personal changes I’d like to make, and it’s reminding me of why change is so hard.

A good friend recently pointed out some things about my behavior that I could have sworn were really about her. That is, I thought she was judging my actions through a lens clouded by her own psychological “stuff.”

In the end, after a lengthy discussion, I had to admit she was right: It was not her stuff, but my stuff she was observing. Read More

Introducing Constructive Wallowing

What is constructive wallowing?

It’s being free to feel your emotions, exactly as they are, without fear (unless what you’re feeling is fear. You can’t exactly feel that without fear!).

It means protecting your emotional and physical health by bringing some ease and compassion to your daily life.

The phrase came to me in the shower one day — that magical place where all great ideas and many not-so-great ones seem to take shape.

I was thinking about a client who was going through a painful breakup but insisted, “I don’t want to wallow!” Read More