Passive–aggressive behavior

How to Recognize When You’re Being Passive-Aggressive

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2 woman at oddsWho among us can honestly say they’ve never behaved in a passive-aggressive way?

When I’m not being assertive, passive-aggression is my go-to. I figure it’s better than outright aggression, and I don’t seem to be wired for passivity, so sometimes it feels like the best option.

There are hundreds — maybe thousands — of subtle ways to avoid being assertive.

This week’s article, in which I happen to be quoted, is a survey of just a few of the twisted moves we make to get around saying what we mean. Read More

How to Assert Yourself Without Being Mean

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Someone asks you to lend them money. Not a lot. Just enough so you’ll miss it and wonder if you’ll see it again. You’d rather not lend it, but you can’t say no. You give it up, then resent the person for not paying you back without your having to ask.

You visit the home of an acquaintance and she says, “My dog is super friendly. Let me know if he’s bothering you.” Fifteen minutes and a gallon of slobber on your pants later, you offer a silent prayer of thanks when the dog gets bored with you and decides to torment his chew toy instead. Read More