negative thoughts

Stop Worrying Right This Second

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Worrying is a coping mechanismWhat are you worried most about right now? Finances? A relationship? Someone’s health?

All of those are significant. Trouble with any is worrisome.

But as we know, worrying is pointless. It can’t pay the bills, repair a relationship, or heal a disease. 

But still, we worry.

Focus on Feelings

If you want to stop worrying, you’ve got to control your focus. Everyone knows this. But what everyone doesn’t necessarily know is that it’s not a matter of changing what you think about. Read More

Calling All Negative Nellies and Debbie Downers

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Debbie DownerThere’s a lot of talk out there about “negative people.” You’re supposed to avoid them.

Cut them out of your life.

“Just Say No” to their negativity.

But what if it’s you?

What if you’re the Eeyore bringing everyone down?

Are you a negative person, or are you simply being realistic?

I wrote a post on this topic this week over on Psychology Today, my home away from home.

Check it out and let me know what you think:

Are You a Debbie Downer? Read More

How to Talk to Yourself When You’re Upset

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cartoon woman with megaphoneHave you been using the T-R-U-T-H Technique for getting past difficult feelings after an upset?

Maybe there was an argument that left you feeling icky.

Maybe someone said or did something that hurt your feelings.

Maybe you hurt someone else’s feelings.

Instead of replaying the event over and over in your head, which just makes you feel worse and gets you stuck in those rotten feelings…

The T-R-U-T-H Technique gives you a way to make your wallowing constructive. Read More

It’s Not a Pity Party If You Criticize Yourself

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woman looking in mirror criticallySelf-pity has a bad rap.

When people confess to me in therapy, “I had a pity party last week,” they’re usually embarrassed about it.

They look as if they’re admitting they made a mean face at a baby or threw a plastic cup on the freeway shoulder.

Their faces say, “I know I shouldn’t do that, but I did it anyway.”

Well, I tell them — and I’m here to tell you — there’s nothing wrong with self-pity. Read More