Don’t Just Talk About Feelings

microphone in meeting room Under my November post entitled How to Stop Ruminating, Marty left this comment:

“You’re right that ruminating, at least in my case, is an attempt to figure out what’s wrong and what to do about it. So let’s say I go to the feelings behind this, and they happen to be “fearful”, “alienated”, and “grieved.” And then I say, yes, I feel afraid, I don’t feel like my life works for me, and I have pain about the past. Read More

We Are Not Brains

ugly brain
Want a hug?

As a mental health counselor, and as a human being, I’m tired of hearing about the human brain.

Nowadays you can’t discuss depression, anxiety, resilience or even a bad day without someone bringing up brain chemistry.

A counselor can’t swing a box of Kleenex without hitting a professional training on “The Neurobiology of Narcissism” or “The Angry Brain.”

It’s as if we’re all just walking, talking, jiggling gray matter ruled by chemicals — mindless, soulless biological phenomena instead of human beings. Read More

Are You Keeping Secrets From Yourself?

This is a continuation of How to Feel Whole (September 2012).

One way to stay whole is to refuse to keep secrets from yourself.

You know what it feels like to keep secrets.

It’s trying not think about something that’s uncomfortable to think about, or taking a different perspective on something in order NOT to feel the way you feel.

The problem with keeping secrets like this is that you actually need to know the things you’re trying not to know. Read More

Why We NEED to Sweat the Small Stuff

Hand being bandagedEveryone has emotional pain.

No one is immune to the slings and arrows of life on this earth, and most of us have unhealed hurts from our time here.

We think we can let go of the pain of things that happen to us, but it’s not that easy. We didn’t choose the pain in the first place; what makes us think we can choose not to have it?

Nature’s Way of Getting Over It

When you cut your skin, your body sends resources to the site of the injury. Read More