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Tag Archives: Forgiveness

What to Do When Your Feelings Are Hurt

Man with hurt feelings

When your feelings are hurt in a relationship, sometimes it seems like your only choices are 1) exact revenge, 2) stop talking to the person, or 3) try to forgive and forget.

But there’s another choice, one that’s often the better way to go with relationships that are important to you, and that is to communicate about what happened and how you feel about it.

For many of us, that’s a tall order. We have to be able to sort through our hurt feelings first AND we have to have the self-esteem to assert that our feelings matter in relationships. Read More

How to Apologize

Person apologizing“I’m sorry you feel that way” is one of those apologies that don’t exactly leave the person falling all over themselves to forgive you.

If you’re looking for forgiveness, or trying to repair a damaged relationship, there are two elements you can’t afford to leave out of your apology.

What and Why?

An effective apology conveys that…

1. You understand what you did, and

2. You know why it was hurtful/inappropriate/downright wrong.

Notice the “why” in the 2nd part isn’t why you said or did the thing you said or did; it’s why it was hurtful or wrong. Read More

Forgiveness Can’t Be Forced

Forgiveness, like Nature, can't be forcedI’m at the self-checkout at the grocery store with my partner, Mike. He passes our rewards card in front of the scanner, and an electronic female voice addresses us.

“Welcome, Valued Customer,” she intones, with all the warmth an industrial recording can muster.

Mike is disgusted. “Do they really think they can manipulate us with that ‘valued customer’ crap?” He looks at me, expecting agreement.

I look back at him sheepishly. “Uh …  That makes me feel … um … like a valued customer,” I admit. Read More