Forgiveness

“I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”

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sister and brother problemsIf your mail carrier complains to you about your mailbox being so far from the curb, it’s perfectly appropriate to respond by saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Here’s what that statement really means:

  • “Your feelings are your problem.”
  • “How you feel has nothing to do with me.”
  • “I don’t care.”
  • “You’re on your own.”

If these are what you mean to convey — and really, what more does the mail carrier have any right to expect from you, unless she’s your sister? Read More

Forgiveness Tips If You’ve Been Wronged

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sad eggIf you’re nursing a grievance, you’re not alone.

Without a heartfelt apology (which isn’t always available), or even with that apology, sometimes it can take a long time to feel better.

Being wronged is like being injured physically. Healing takes time.

No one expects a broken bone to heal overnight, nor should we expect ourselves to be okay with what happened immediately… or ever.

Assuming you want to reach forgiveness, though, remember that hurt feelings can build on other hurt feelings from the past. Read More

“You Hurt My Feelings”

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After last week’s post (Are Those Hurt Feelings Justified?) I received the following question in a comment from Anya:

“Now that you’ve validated the other person’s hurt feelings, what do you do with your own hurt feelings? Especially if you still feel on some level that you were unfairly attacked, singled out, or judged? Is this a point where you just have to let it go?”

I’ve heard the question before, and it’s a good one, so I thought I’d address it in this week’s post. Read More

Throw Out the Need to Be Right

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Schoolboy tossing paperI recently read a book by Gail Blanke called Throw Out Fifty Things. It’s about clearing clutter, and it was a really good read. An eye-opener.

She talks in the book about not only physical but also mental and emotional clutter, and how to deal with it.

The need to be right is one that struck chord with me. I think the need to be right often gets in the way of my being the person I want to be. Read More