Feeling

The Surprising Upside to Wallowing in Despair

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Despair figure with happy silhouetteWho is there among us who hasn’t felt the chill of despair at one time or another?

With the cold, gray winter enveloping so many of us, I thought this might be a good time to review some emotional survival tips, and underline the happy truth that wallowing in despair can bring rich rewards.

There is such a thing as severe depression. That’s what medication is for, and it can literally be a life-saver.

But for the millions suffering from losses in the past or the present while still going about their business, working through those sad, bad feelings with constructive wallowing can lift the dark veil and bring new life, just in time for spring. Read More

5 Ways to Feel (and Heal) Your Feelings

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You've got to feel 'em to heal 'emYou’ve heard me say many times that the reason to let yourself feel bad is so that you can feel better sooner.

So how exactly do you do that?

It’s one thing to say, “Feel your feelings,” but what exactly does that look like?

In essence, it means honoring your real feelings, and yourself, when you’re hurting.

Erin Leyba’s wonderful article offers some really practical tips for doing just that.

Enjoy!

5 Ways to Honor Sadness Instead of Distracting From It

Photo courtesy of www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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Early Experience Affects How We Deal With Feelings

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adult not understanding kid's feelings“Why do we find it so hard to sit with our own emotions?” asked one of the audience members at a talk I gave last Tuesday about constructive wallowing.

I think there are two reasons:

1. We’re hard-wired to avoid pain. If a feeling is unpleasant, we automatically try not to pay attention to it and hope it goes away.

Example: You’re reading on the patio when a thought strays into your mind … something about a letter from the IRS and unpaid taxes. Read More

Are You On Emotional Autopilot?

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Passengers in motionMany years ago when I lived in New York City, I helped a friend execute a brilliant gift idea for her mother’s birthday.

Because her mom lived far away, they couldn’t be together to celebrate, so my friend decided to send her something very special.

First, she made a giant sign that said HAPPY BIRTHDAY with her mom’s name on it.

Phase One complete.

Then she carried that enormous sign with her (on the subway, no less) to a series of recognizable New York City landmarks, and asked strangers to hold it up and wave while she took their picture. Read More