Psychotherapist, Author, Estrangement Consultant
Whenever I hear the term “toxic person,” I picture a glow-in-the-dark green zombie covered in radioactive waste.
Personally, I consider this to be the proper definition of a toxic person. I don’t think too many people agree with me, though.
There are tons of blog posts out there, not to mention comments on Facebook and other social media, urging us to purge so-called toxic people from our lives.
Someone talks trash to you? Kick ’em to the curb. Read More
I received the following feedback about an excerpt from my book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child, and I wanted to respond.
Unfortunately, the feedback was anonymous.
Surely this person is not alone. So I thought I’d respond with a blog post…
S/he wrote:
Read MoreI read through your entire page on Estrangement and I’ve got to say that it all felt a bit like you’re condoning the behaviour of abusive parents; telling them they need not feel any remorse for the suffering they’ve caused and they need to practice more self-compassion.
If your mail carrier complains to you about your mailbox being so far from the curb, it’s perfectly appropriate to respond by saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Here’s what that statement really means:
If these are what you mean to convey — and really, what more does the mail carrier have any right to expect from you, unless she’s your sister? Read More
In last week’s post I talked about how differentiation can contribute to estrangement between parents and their young adult children.
This continuation of that post talks about the married adult child, and offers some tips to help you trust the process.
Remember, differentiation is a normal and healthy part of human development. It’s not due to a lack of gratitude or character.
Everyone goes through differentiation, and if you pay very close attention to your own relationship to your parents, you’ll see it in action! Read More