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Tag Archives: Crying

The Surprising Upside to Wallowing in Despair

Despair figure with happy silhouetteWho is there among us who hasn’t felt the chill of despair at one time or another?

With the cold, gray winter enveloping so many of us, I thought this might be a good time to review some emotional survival tips, and underline the happy truth that wallowing in despair can bring rich rewards.

There is such a thing as severe depression. That’s what medication is for, and it can literally be a life-saver.

But for the millions suffering from losses in the past or the present while still going about their business, working through those sad, bad feelings with constructive wallowing can lift the dark veil and bring new life, just in time for spring. Read More

6 Tips for a Good Cry

young man cryingHave you had a good cry lately?

How about a bad one?

Tears can definitely go either way.

Sometimes you feel better when you’re done, but other times you just feel drained.

Not all tears are healing, it seems.

While crying does have some observable physiological benefits, the way you talk to yourself when you’re crying is at least as important as the fact that you’re crying at all.

The trick is to cultivate self-compassion. Read More

What to Do When Someone Cries

A doll criesAs a psychotherapist, my work frequently involves watching people cry.

I probably spend as much on Kleenex every year as other professionals spend on printer paper.

Far from being fazed by tears, I welcome them because I know how healing they can be.

But that hasn’t always been the case…

A Short History of My Awkward Cluelessness

I entered adulthood as the original Uncomfortable Witness. Since we didn’t cry in my home when I was growing up, I literally had no idea how to respond to tears. Read More

“Stop Crying, Or I’ll Give You Something to Cry About”

loving dad

This dad looks like he’s saying, “It’s OK. I’m here with you.”

Did you ever hear these words when you were a kid? Have you said them yourself?

If you were told, “Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about,” here’s what you learned:

1. The world is a dangerous place.

If Mommy or Daddy or Grandma or the babysitter threatens to make you cry, what might a stranger do?

Trust is necessary for healthy relationships. Read More