The Secret Ingredient in Healthy Relationships

couple in kitchenAlice’s husband, Bob, does something that hurts her feelings.

So what does she do?

Alice tells Bob he’s insensitive and inconsiderate.

This hurts Bob’s feelings. So what does he do?

Bob responds by telling Alice she’s too demanding.

An argument ensues, of course.

And it never really gets resolved.

Bob and Alice get into it like this at least once a week. Both are unhappy about it.

Neither one believes the relationship to be healthy, but they’re no sure what to do. Read More

What To Do When You’ve Made Someone Angry

Once again, I’ve come across an article by Peter Bregman that I wish I’d written myself.

If you’ve read my post on how to apologize, you might have found yourself thinking, ‘Yeah, but I didn’t mean it that way. Can’t I just explain what I was thinking?’

Bregman explains why it’s consequences, rather than intentions, that carry the day in the mind of the person who’s mad at you.

What To Do When You’ve Made Someone Angry, by Peter Bregman. Read More

What to Do After an Argument

It’s the day after an argument. Maybe it was just a few harsh words, or an awkward interaction, but you’re feeling pretty bad about the whole thing. You wish it had gone differently.

What do you do now?

Well, that depends on exactly what kind of bad you’re feeling.

The Remorse Test

If you’re not sure exactly what you’re feeling, try this simple test for remorse:

In your imagination, picture yourself apologizing to the other person. Read More