conflict avoidance

What to Do When Your Feelings Are Hurt

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Man with hurt feelings

When your feelings are hurt in a relationship, sometimes it seems like your only choices are 1) exact revenge, 2) stop talking to the person, or 3) try to forgive and forget.

But there’s another choice, one that’s often the better way to go with relationships that are important to you, and that is to communicate about what happened and how you feel about it.

For many of us, that’s a tall order. We have to be able to sort through our hurt feelings first AND we have to have the self-esteem to assert that our feelings matter in relationships. Read More

Self-Acceptance: Don’t Make This Mistake

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Anyone who knows me will tell you I’m all about self-acceptance.

Not just me accepting myself, but you accepting yourself and everyone in the world accepting themselves with love and compassion.

So it might come as a surprise when I suggest there could be any “don’ts” with such an empowering idea.

The problem isn’t with the idea itself, but rather how it’s sometimes implemented.

Have you seen the following scenario, either in yourself, or with someone else? Read More

“I don’t want to be mean”

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Picture the scene: I’m in the grocery store (yes, again) and I’ve just gone through the self-checkout. I’m on foot; no car or bike waits for me outside. It’s pouring rain, I’m a good 25 minutes from home and my purchases don’t seem to fit in my waterproof backpack.

Because of the city’s ban on plastic bags, it’s either the backpack or a paper bag that will disintegrate before I’m halfway home.

I’m feeling uncomfortably warm, grumpy and in a hurry to get outside into the refreshing chill of the rainy day. Read More