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Tag Archives: conflict avoidance

Just Freaking ASK

asking for somethingI’ve written before about how it never hurts to ask for what you want, but…

Since Elizabeth Gilbert is a far better writer than I am, I thought I’d share with you a short article of hers that inspired me this week.

It was a timely read for me, because just the other day someone suggested I expand my work into an intriguing new arena.

My response was hesitant — not because I didn’t want to do it, but because I couldn’t imagine who would hire me. Read More

6 Tips for Better Boundaries

woman standing her groundToday’s post is essentially a letter to myself, in that it’s about something I struggle with personally: Boundaries.

Check it out. It’s like I wrote myself a boundaries to-do list, and you just happen to be reading along.

If you have trouble with boundaries sometimes and can relate, that’s awesome.

But basically I’m writing for myself this week.

Please leave a note in the comments if you have any words of inspiration or tips to share. Read More

Why You Shouldn’t Label Yourself

The way people talk about themselves in therapy sometimes, it’s clear that certain things they do are a mystery to them.

“I’m really bad at calling people back,” is the kind of generalization I regularly hear as a therapist.

“Why do you think so?” I ask.

“Um… because I don’t call people back?”

Just as there are reasons for everything you do, there are reasons for the things you don’t do.

In the example above, as soon as we looked at a recent example from the client’s life, we both saw a very good reason for her hesitation in returning the call. Read More

When You Say the Wrong Thing

The minute it’s out of your mouth you wish you could take it back.

But words are like toothpaste squeezed out of the tube.

Once it’s out, it’s out.

Sometimes, when the stakes are low, you end up with just a slightly awkward or even humorous interaction rather than a damaging one.

Never Assume

When Mike and I were first living together, I found myself being uncharacteristically careful to wash dishes promptly and put them away after Mike had cleaned the kitchen. Read More