Change

4 Motivation Killers and What to Do About Them

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When it comes to my career, I’m definitely motivated.

As a self-employed therapist, teacher and self-help writer, I’ve always got several pots on the stove, and I rarely lack energy to do what needs to be done.

But when it comes to home improvements… Ehh. Not so much.

Oh, sure, I’d like to rearrange the living room, maybe get some new furniture. Maybe do some painting.

Actually, now that you ask, I’d like to change a lot of things about my living space. Read More

Immunity to Change (Video)

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Why is it so hard to make important changes in our lives — even the ones we genuinely want?

For instance, why do so many of us find it impossible to make positive lifestyle changes even though our health is at stake?

Robert Kegan, whom I first “met” through his brilliant book The Evolving Self, has an explanation for this puzzling problem. He describes it in this engaging video about his book called Immunity to  Change. Read More

Feeling Defensive

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I’ve become aware of a subtle but persistent defensiveness inside me.

It’s not like the protesting defensiveness when I’m attacked for my opinion or my personal hygiene. It’s not that loud or obvious.

It’s less relational, more personal. Like a constant whisper inside that perhaps only I can hear.

Now that I’m aware of it — not that I always am, because it comes and goes silently, like a nocturnal predator — I can just barely describe it. Read More

Knowing Something vs. “Getting” It

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When it comes to personal development, there are no new ideas. There are only ideas we’ve had in our heads for a while, that we finally “get” and start living by.

Is there a saying or a principle you’ve always known, that you only just recently “got”?

It’s kind of frustrating when you have an insight like this. If you try to talk about it or write it down, it usually ends up sounding obvious. Your friends might even say, “You knew that already,” or “You always talk about that.” Read More