How Much Security Can You Stand?

Woman holding paper sign with prison bars drawn in front of her face

Security is comfy, isn’t’ it? It’s like being able to stay home all day in your pajamas, surrounded by your stuff, knowing what to expect from the cat, the TV, and the kitchen faucet that drips once an hour. The big, ugly outside world isn’t there to bother you, or judge you, or expect anything from you.

What would we do without a basic sense of security? Probably not much. Security allows us a reasonable expectation of safety. Read More

Why You’re Attracted to the Wrong People

Last week, I was giving a presentation to other mental health professionals when the talk turned to unmet emotional needs.

This is the kind of thing we therapists tend to discuss when we get together. That, and reality TV shows. Or maybe that’s just me.

Unmet emotional needs are often unconscious, and they cause all sorts of havoc in our lives. Mostly they tend to control our behavior. Come to think of it, they may even lead to agreeing to be on TV… But I digress. Read More

The Circle of Change: You End Up Where You Started (Kind Of)

Change happens in an instant, in a certain sense. But then again, it can take years for a change to really become a part of who you are.

I think of change as taking me around a circle. When the change is fully integrated, I’m the same person again, but different.

It’s as if I’m traveling around a clock face. I start at 6 and move clockwise through all the numbers until I end up back at 6. Read More

Is It a Breakdown or a Breakthrough?

Has life ever pushed you to your emotional limits?

If so,  you probably already know that surviving a crisis can be a positive turning point in your life.

This week’s post is by Melissa Dinwiddie, who writes about what she calls “the liberation of a breakdown.”

Here’s an excerpt:

It’s disheartening when everything you’ve worked hard to build tumbles down like a castle made of children’s blocks, and it’s scary to start down a new path.

Read More