Self-Help

Find support for healing and change in these practical self-help articles.

6 Ways to Feel Better Now

Regardless of whether you made resolutions for 2013… Here are 6 simple ways you can improve your life today, this year, and for the rest of your life. 1. Clear clutter for more energy Start cleaning out clutter today. Clutter clogs your engines in insidious ways. You know how the less fit you feel, the …

Don’t Just Talk About Feelings

Under my November post entitled How to Stop Ruminating, Marty left this comment: “You’re right that ruminating, at least in my case, is an attempt to figure out what’s wrong and what to do about it. So let’s say I go to the feelings behind this, and they happen to be “fearful”, “alienated”, and “grieved.” …

Immunity to Change (Video)

Why is it so hard to make important changes in our lives — even the ones we genuinely want? For instance, why do so many of us find it impossible to make positive lifestyle changes even though our health is at stake? Robert Kegan, whom I first “met” through his brilliant book The Evolving Self, …

How to Stop Obsessing Over Things You Can’t Control

We’ve all heard how bad it is to ruminate — that is, to chew on something troubling, turning it over and over in your mind. Doing this makes you feel worse instead of better, so according to traditional wisdom, you’re supposed to watch your thoughts. You’re supposed to just STOP if you find yourself ruminating. …

Are You Keeping Secrets From Yourself?

This is a continuation of How to Feel Whole (September 2012). One way to stay whole is to refuse to keep secrets from yourself. You know what it feels like to keep secrets. It’s trying not think about something that’s uncomfortable to think about, or taking a different perspective on something in order NOT to …

Take Charge of Your Life

The problem is that we started out as children. Overcoming that fact can take a lifetime. Programmed for Powerlessness Children have no power. If you had a normal childhood, you didn’t get to choose how or where you spent your time. You didn’t decide when to go to bed or even what to wear when …

» Blog Archive » Bombarded by Technology

» Blog Archive » Bombarded by Technology. Click on the link above for a good article about this universal and growing problem.

How to Deal With a Persnickety Friend

Do you have a friend who’s got you walking on eggshells — someone who makes you feel like you’re not a good person, let alone a good friend? Friendship on Probation I have a friend like this. Everything I do feels like it’s never quite right, or quite enough. Each piece of positive feedback, every …

The Self-Compassion Cure

Self-compassion might not help you find a job, but it reminds you of your value while you search. Self-compassion might not erase the regrettable thing you said or did, but it allows you to forgive yourself. Self-compassion might not bring back a lost love, but it nurtures you while you grieve. Self-compassion might not protect …

10 Simple Ways to Feel Good Today

1. Believe in your feelings. If you don’t think your own feelings are valid, why should other people? 2. Speak your truth, if only to yourself. Honesty begins at home; don’t hide knowledge from yourself.  When you do this, you lose self-respect and self-esteem. 3. Make the most of a sunny day if you wish, …

How to Assert Yourself Without Being Mean

Someone asks you to lend them money. Not a lot. Just enough so you’ll miss it and wonder if you’ll see it again. You’d rather not lend it, but you can’t say no. You give it up, then resent the person for not paying you back without your having to ask. You visit the home …

Go With the Flow of an Unproductive Day

Recently I had one of those days when nothing went smoothly. The chores I’d planned to do before going to the office were thwarted by unexpected circumstances. Clients didn’t show for appointments. I found myself aimlessly checking for emails that never came. I couldn’t get behind anything on my To-Do List to salvage some productivity …