Relationships
These articles focus on relationship issues and communication.
Making Sense of “Irrational” Anger
It’s always exciting to come across an article I wish I’d written myself. This week’s post from Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. is one of those gems. Emotions — anger and every other one I know of — always make sense. Even when you’re the one having the feeling and even YOU don’t know why! There’s always a reason for the way you feel. And no, it’s not that you’re being irrational or making a big …
What to Do After an Argument
It’s the day after an argument. Maybe it was just a few harsh words, or an awkward interaction, but you’re feeling pretty bad about the whole thing. You wish it had gone differently. What do you do now? Well, that depends on exactly what kind of bad you’re feeling. The Remorse Test If you’re not sure exactly what you’re feeling, try this simple test for remorse: In your imagination, picture yourself apologizing to the other …
How to Apologize
“I’m sorry you feel that way” is one of those apologies that don’t exactly leave the person falling all over themselves to forgive you. If you’re looking for forgiveness, or trying to repair a damaged relationship, there are two elements you can’t afford to leave out of your apology. What and Why? An effective apology conveys that… 1. You understand what you did, and 2. You know why it was hurtful/inappropriate/downright wrong. Notice the “why” …
Conversations With Your Ex
Are you hurting from a breakup? Experiencing relationship trouble? Sad or angry about something that happened long ago, or full of regret because you feel you hurt someone? You might be able to heal a little bit faster using a technique developed by my friend Jody, who agreed to let me use her name in this post. Write to Heal After Jody read “Conversations with God,” she got creative and started writing down conversations with …
Mind-Reading is Bad for Relationships
Are you good at reading people? Do you easily pick up on the moods or feelings of others? If the answer is Yes, here’s some food for thought. For some years I facilitated therapy groups for people interested in personal growth. This involved interviewing potential new members to make sure the fit was right for both the person and the group. It was through one of these interviews that I met Enola (not her real …
The Green-Eyed Monster
In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I thought I’d write about the color green. And because I’m all about emotions, today’s topic is the Green-Eyed Monster, also known as jealousy. First things first: What’s the difference between jealousy and envy? Quite simply, envy is when we want something someone else has, that rightfully belongs to them. It’s also known in the Bible as “coveting,” which for some reason is considered a sin… Probably because of …
What to Do When Someone Won’t Talk to You
How to Deal with Rejection Important Note: If you were abandoned with no explanation by your parent(s), this article doesn’t apply to you. Parents of estranged adult children: Please see my book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Estrangement from important others is a sad fact of life for many people. One of the most painful experiences a parent can have is to be rejected by an adult child who appears to want nothing to …