Random Reflections

These articles represent a grab bag of thoughts on various subjects.

Forgiveness is Not a Menu Option

Every time I talk about forgiveness, I run into disagreement. When I make the statement, “Forgiveness is not a choice,” I always get pushback from people who think I’m saying something else. What they think I’m saying is, “Hey, you know what would be fun? Why don’t you hang on to your hurt on purpose and refuse to forgive the person …

Getting in Fights with Strangers

I saw a video on Facebook. Two drivers, apparently contesting a parking space, were ramming each other’s cars. They were using their vehicles like bumper cars at an amusement park. But there was nothing amusing about the video. Below the video, people had left thousands of comments.  Many decried the stupidity of the combatants. I don’t …

On the 12th Day of Therapy…

When my partner, Mike, first heard the Christmas carol The 12 Days of Christmas as a child, he thought the “partridge in a pear tree” was something about a “juniper tree.” I’m impressed that he knew the word “juniper” before he ever heard of a partridge. My own experience with The 12 Days of Christmas …

How Much Security Can You Stand?

Security is comfy, isn’t’ it? It’s like being able to stay home all day in your pajamas, surrounded by your stuff, knowing what to expect from the cat, the TV, and the kitchen faucet that drips once an hour. The big, ugly outside world isn’t there to bother you, or judge you, or expect anything …

“Sorry” Isn’t Always Good Enough

I’m on vacation this week, and my mom has come to town to join me on a couple of road trips. A few days ago we were in the tippy-left corner of Oregon, visiting the historic city of Astoria. Nestled in the hills at the mouth of the Columbia River, the town has a generous …

Why Dogs (and SOME Cats) Make the Best Therapists

When it comes right down to it, no matter how much you might love all animals, you’re either a dog person or a cat person. (Of course, if you didn’t grow up with pets, it may be a mystery to you why anyone would want to share their home with animals of any kind. Isn’t …

Where the Nice Guys Are

Years before I was a serious-minded mental health professional, I was writing articles of a different sort. Today I thought I’d share with you an early offering from my young-free-and-single self who was fully immersed in the New York City dating scene circa 1999. This is one of the first articles I posted on my …

Chestnuts Roasting…

Last year I received several comments from people who enjoyed the burning log video, so I thought I’d reprise it this year. No matter which holidays you celebrate I hope you’re warm and cozy this week, and enjoying time with friends or family. Chestnuts Roasting …

A Fun Idea for New Year’s Eve

No matter how you’re spending New Year’s Eve this year, whether alone, with a partner, with family or friends, here’s an idea for a fun and meaningful activity that will pay dividends beyond the holidays. Invite your peeps to get together and create a mini time capsule of ideas, predictions and goals for the coming …

You Don’t Have to Let It Go

When I get mad or sad and someone tells me to “let it go,” I get madder and sadder. What terrible advice that is. “Let it go.” Ugh. What does that even mean? And anyway, it’s impossible. You can’t let go of what happened. It went down exactly the way it did, so there’s no …

A Bit of Fluff – Grin and Bear It

Hey, look at me! I’m STILL on vacation. “No way,” you might say. I’ve got news for you: Way. Since it’s playtime for me, I want everyone to have a bit of fun. So this week I’m sharing a pic that’s not only so very true, it just might make you smile. Hope your month …

The Surest Way Not to Teach Kids Respect

I’m still on holiday this week, but in my absence I wanted to leave you with something nutritious to chew on. Since I’m too busy whooping it up on vacation to moderate comments, they’re not available for this post. However, you can leave comments over on PsychologyToday.com: Shaming Children Is Emotionally Abusive Next week I’ll …

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