Psychology

These articles feature psychological topics.

I Tattle On Myself (There I Go Again!)

Allow me to set the scene for you… There’s an hour-long “BodySculpt” class I like to take every week at my gym. It involves jumping around with weights to loud music. Since that’s pretty much the only real workout I’d otherwise get all week, I added personal training earlier this year. That also happens at …

Sometimes We Just Need Someone to Talk to

Lovely article by a fellow therapist this week, who writes: “What has tragically gotten lost […] is the core human need to talk to a wise, compassionate, other human being about our suffering.” If it’s true that we’re not our brains, just popping a pill for depression won’t make the ache go away. Click below …

A Surprising Risk Factor for Depression

The results are in, and they’re sobering: 100% of all people who suffer from depression were once children. Yes, childhood is the #1 risk factor for depression. Having been a child accounts for more depression than job loss, divorce, prison time and the loss of a loved one combined. Until now, depression — especially of …

Is Your Comfort Zone Shrinking?

You might have seen the TV commercial for a tooth-whitening product that says, “If you’re not whitening, you’re yellowing.” That’s what happens with your comfort zone. When it’s not growing, it’s shrinking. It doesn’t just stay the same. Personally, I’ve watched my comfort zone deflate as I’ve settled into a cozy life with my partner …

Are You Struggling to Be Happy?

Happiness feels so much better when it’s spontaneous, doesn’t it? You’re walking in the woods with your dog, or letting your hair down with your favorite friends, and suddenly you realize that in this moment, life is good. You feel happy! But those moments aren’t really within your control. Happiness happens when it happens. IF …

“Stop Crying, Or I’ll Give You Something to Cry About”

Did you ever hear these words when you were a kid? Have you said them yourself? If you were told, “Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about,” here’s what you learned: 1. The world is a dangerous place. If Mommy or Daddy or Grandma or the babysitter threatens to make you cry, …

What Does “Be Yourself” Mean?

Got a job interview? Going on a first date? Meeting the in-laws? Just be yourself! What does that actually mean, though? Since you can’t be anyone else, this advice doesn’t seem to make sense. It’s like saying, “Just have skin!” Obviously the idea is to cultivate relaxation and confidence. We can train ourselves to physically …

How to Deal With Anger

Anger has never hurt anyone. You read that right: Anger has never hurt anyone. “But what about homicide? Domestic violence? Bar fights?” you ask. “Those are the results of anger, and people definitely do get hurt.” People are hurt by physical aggression, not by anger. Aggression is a behavior, and it can definitely hurt people. But …

Breaking the Cycle of Invisibility

In last week’s post (Are You Easy to Ignore?) I talked about how childhood experiences can make us feel invisible. If you’re used to feeling like others aren’t interested in you, you might be frustrated. I  hope you’re also wondering what’s really going on, and how you might be able to change it. I fear …

Are You Easy to Ignore?

Here’s an interesting stat for you: One hundred percent of adults I see in therapy who feel invisible, have felt that way since childhood. What about you? Do you ever feel invisible? By invisible I mean emotionally and socially blending in with the furniture. Do you ever feel as though nothing would be different in …

What Is Healthy Entitlement?

For many people, “entitled” is a four-letter word (e.g., “Kids today are so entitled!“). But for all of us, entitlement is essential to healthy self-esteem. To entitle someone is to give them a title, right or claim to something. When someone is entitled, they’ve accepted (and will act on) a certain title, right or claim. …

We Are Not Brains

As a mental health counselor, and as a human being, I’m tired of hearing about the human brain. Nowadays you can’t discuss depression, anxiety, resilience or even a bad day without someone bringing up brain chemistry. A counselor can’t swing a box of Kleenex without hitting a professional training on “The Neurobiology of Narcissism” or …