Psychology
These articles feature psychological topics.
Read This ONLY If You’re Easily Embarrassed
Embarrassing moments can strike at any time. For example, many years ago, my brother and his girlfriend were enjoying lunch at one of those sushi places where the dishes come around on a conveyor belt. Whenever you’re ready for your next bite, boom! there’s fresh food floating by right in front of you. You just reach out to the conveyor belt and scoop a plate off it. Personally, I love a good sushi train. But on …
Forget the Past? Bad Idea!
As a therapist, I sit with many people who’d like to forget the past, along with its most piercing injuries and disappointments, but they can’t. The past won’t let go of them. Others have already forgotten huge chunks of their personal history, but they still feel stuck in it somehow, as if the past were so much invisible waist-high goo, keeping them from striding forward with confidence. The Past Under Attack There’s an almost angry …
How to Recognize When You’re Being Passive-Aggressive
Who among us can honestly say they’ve never behaved in a passive-aggressive way? When I’m not being assertive, passive-aggression is my go-to. I figure it’s better than outright aggression, and I don’t seem to be wired for passivity, so sometimes it feels like the best option. There are hundreds — maybe thousands — of subtle ways to avoid being assertive. This week’s article, in which I happen to be quoted, is a survey of just …
Can Reconnection Cure Boredom?
I’m not often bored these days, but I certainly have been bored before. I don’t like it. Not one bit. I’m curious about boredom. I want to know what causes it and why some people seem to experience boredom constantly, while others rarely or never do. Boredom feels bad, but it seems different from other feelings. What exactly is boredom, anyway? I was puzzling over this when this article on 5 types of boredom came …
Grow Your Child’s (or Your Own) Emotional Intelligence
Everyone pretty much agrees on the importance of emotional literacy, at least in theory. As a society, we want children to learn how to deal with difficult feelings, both their own and others’. But how exactly do we teach them that? Especially if we ourselves aren’t sure we’ve got a handle on our own emotions? Emotional intelligence can easily be developed in children because most kids are naturally emotionally intelligent. At least, they’ve got the …
Calling All Negative Nellies and Debbie Downers
There’s a lot of talk out there about “negative people.” You’re supposed to avoid them. Cut them out of your life. “Just Say No” to their negativity. But what if it’s you? What if you’re the Eeyore bringing everyone down? Are you a negative person, or are you simply being realistic? I wrote a post on this topic this week over on Psychology Today, my home away from home. Check it out and let me …
On Caring What People Think of You
I have a Google alert set up to fetch every new page on the Internet that contains my book title, Constructive Wallowing. Usually the automated search will find me quoted in an article that cites the book, which is what I’d expect. But sometimes it comes up with pages I never dreamed existed. I recently got a hit on a nonsensical article that resembles something put together by a robot, or maybe a baboon. A …
Please Stop Bashing Your Ego
I hate the word “Ego.” I have nothing against Sigmund Freud. He named those three conceptual pieces of us Id (child self), Ego (mediating self) and Superego (internalized authority figure). Freud wasn’t the first to perceive such a distinction, but he was the first to use those names. Everything seemed okay at first, but during the last century, things went downhill. The Ego, instead of being the mediator between reality, the Id and the Superego, …
Sometimes We Just Need Someone to Talk to
Lovely article by a fellow therapist this week, who writes: “What has tragically gotten lost […] is the core human need to talk to a wise, compassionate, other human being about our suffering.” If it’s true that we’re not our brains, just popping a pill for depression won’t make the ache go away. Click below to read Cynthia W. Lubow’s thoughtful article: As Psychotherapy Evolves, Something Is Getting Left Behind. Image created in Canva 2025
A Surprising Risk Factor for Depression
The results are in, and they’re sobering: 100% of all people who suffer from depression were once children. Yes, childhood is the #1 risk factor for depression. Having been a child accounts for more depression than job loss, divorce, prison time and the loss of a loved one combined. Until now, depression — especially of the mild to moderate variety — was considered mysterious. It was often attributed to unexplained chemical imbalances in the brain. …
Is Your Comfort Zone Shrinking?
You might have seen the TV commercial for a tooth-whitening product that says, “If you’re not whitening, you’re yellowing.” That’s what happens with your comfort zone. When it’s not growing, it’s shrinking. It doesn’t just stay the same. Personally, I’ve watched my comfort zone deflate as I’ve settled into a cozy life with my partner of 9 years, Mike; my family and friends; my fitness routine; and my heart’s work. There are things I did …