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Forgiveness Tips If You’ve Been Wronged

sad eggIf you’re nursing a grievance, you’re not alone.

Without a heartfelt apology (which isn’t always available), or even with that apology, sometimes it can take a long time to feel better.

Being wronged is like being injured physically. Healing takes time.

No one expects a broken bone to heal overnight, nor should we expect ourselves to be okay with what happened immediately… or ever.

Assuming you want to reach forgiveness, though, remember that hurt feelings can build on other hurt feelings from the past.

There may be a backlog of emotional “ouch!”es to work through.

The best anyone can do is to create room for forgiveness.

Read these tips on how to do that from my guest post over on WellDoing.org:

Don’t Rush Forgiveness

Photo courtesy of www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

About Tina Gilbertson

Tina Gilbertson is a psychotherapist, speaker and author based in Denver, Colorado. She specializes in supporting parents of estranged adult children through therapy, consulting, and ReconnectionClub.com, an online support and information hub for parents. The author of "Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them" and the "Guide for Parents of Estranged Adult Children," Tina is often featured in the media as an expert on communication and relationships. Her blog on PsychologyToday.com is called "Constructive Wallowing."
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0 Responses to "Forgiveness Tips If You’ve Been Wronged"

  • Jane Schwartz
    August 10, 2014 - 9:03 am Reply

    What happens when you can’t forgive your children because suddenly you have become the worse mother in the world? You are no longer allowed to be alone with grandchildren that you have benn watching for 3 years. When suddenly everything you have ever said has been lied about and lies are being told about you to try to poison others against. How can I forgive that but my heart is breaking when I keep hearing things being said about me that are all untrue. My children where raised in a wonderful home, given every advantage and where the envy of every kid on the street. The got everything. I paid for college, gave them every opportunity for a good future and never believed in hitting. Now they say they had a terrible childhood. No one understands it. My friends say they were there and saw the wonderful mother I was. My husband and I are sick over this. We are 68 & up years old. Others have tried to tell them they are wrong but they insist I have changed and I only want to fight. They lie about everything. How can I learn to forgive when they only see me completely differently then I am. I cry all the time. I started therapy. I was told to get away from them or my life will be a roller coaster. I can’t get over the hurt. I can’t stop crying. Do you have any advice for me.

    • Tina Gilbertson
      August 10, 2014 - 12:20 pm Reply

      Jane, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re hurting, and I hope that reading the article above will provide a little bit of support. It’s my best shot at advice for people who are hurting and feel like they want or need to forgive.

      It’s really good to know that you also have a therapist you can talk to about all of this; I always encourage anyone dealing with this kind of situation to seek high-quality support. All my best, good luck to you and thanks very much for your comment.

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