Constructive Wallowing

These articles feature the practice of constructive wallowing. Learn more about Tina’s Constructive Wallowing book on Amazon.

The Truth About Anxiety, Part 2

In my last post (The Truth About Anxiety, Part 1), I mentioned that anxiety typically has two common causes. The first was insecurity. Makes sense, right? Feeling insecure is a simple recipe for anxiety. Especially when bad things have happened in the past, or could realistically happen in the future. The second common cause is …

The Self-Compassion Cure

Self-compassion might not help you find a job, but it reminds you of your value while you search. Self-compassion might not erase the regrettable thing you said or did, but it allows you to forgive yourself. Self-compassion might not bring back a lost love, but it nurtures you while you grieve. Self-compassion might not protect …

Forgiveness Can’t Be Forced

I’m at the self-checkout at the grocery store with my partner, Mike. He passes our rewards card in front of the scanner, and an electronic female voice addresses us. “Welcome, Valued Customer,” she intones, with all the warmth an industrial recording can muster. Mike is disgusted. “Do they really think they can manipulate us with …

WARNING: Positive Thinking May Be Harmful to Your Health

Are the Feelings Police controlling your mind? You know who they are; whenever you start to feel blue, they show up with their heavy belts and authoritarian attitudes and shout, “Hey, you! Turn that frown upside-down!” It’s a relentless fact of life in these United States of Happiness: Must. Be. Happy. All the time. Most …

Go With the Flow of an Unproductive Day

Recently I had one of those days when nothing went smoothly. The chores I’d planned to do before going to the office were thwarted by unexpected circumstances. Clients didn’t show for appointments. I found myself aimlessly checking for emails that never came. I couldn’t get behind anything on my To-Do List to salvage some productivity …

Life’s Not Fair … And That STINKS!

Somewhere in Africa, a gazelle is running for its life, chased by a hungry lion. What are the chances that the gazelle is thinking, “This is SO unfair!”? This may surprise you, but I don’t actually know the answer to that. What I do know is that many people would say, “We should be more …

The positive power of negative affirmations

I enjoy going on long hikes with my partner, Mike. We both love to exercise, and hiking gives us a chance to talk for hours about random things while enjoying Nature. Towards the end of a long hike, or if the trail gets really steep in the middle and we get tired, one of us …

Introducing Constructive Wallowing

What is constructive wallowing? It’s being free to feel your emotions, exactly as they are, without fear (unless what you’re feeling is fear. You can’t exactly feel that without fear!). It means protecting your emotional and physical health by bringing some ease and compassion to your daily life. The phrase came to me in the …