Constructive Wallowing

These articles feature the practice of constructive wallowing. Learn more about Tina’s Constructive Wallowing book on Amazon.

Is It a Breakdown or a Breakthrough?

Has life ever pushed you to your emotional limits? If so,  you probably already know that surviving a crisis can be a positive turning point in your life. This week’s post is by Melissa Dinwiddie, who writes about what she calls “the liberation of a breakdown.” Here’s an excerpt: It’s disheartening when everything you’ve worked …

Reconnect with Your Authentic Self

If you’ve read any of my other posts categorized under “Constructive Wallowing,” you’ll know how happy and excited I was to read the following post by Tim McAuley. (It was reblogged by Mary Rogers on her blog, Bipolar Lessons, which is how I came across it.) In this post, Tim takes on two pieces of …

Are You On Emotional Autopilot?

Many years ago when I lived in New York City, I helped a friend execute a brilliant gift idea for her mother’s birthday. Because her mom lived far away, they couldn’t be together to celebrate, so my friend decided to send her something very special. First, she made a giant sign that said HAPPY BIRTHDAY …

What to Do When Your Feelings Are Hurt

When your feelings are hurt in a relationship, sometimes it seems like your only choices are 1) exact revenge, 2) stop talking to the person, or 3) try to forgive and forget. But there’s another choice, one that’s often the better way to go with relationships that are important to you, and that is to …

Never Waste a Day Again

I was sitting with a client the other day who’s having a hard time getting unstuck after a series of challenges in her life. She feels like she’s just going through the motions and spinning her wheels. It’s extra difficult for her to feel that way because she’s been a workhorse her whole life. She’s …

It Takes More Than Time to Heal Emotional Wounds

They say time heals everything, but as a therapist, I know that’s not true. Yes, the pain over that breakup with your high school sweetheart has faded to a distant memory. At the time, you were devastated. You felt like the world was coming to an end. But you survived the end of the world. …

4 Ways Parents Can Help Kids Deal With Feelings

This week I’m honored, thrilled, tickled — you name it, I’m feeling it! — to play host to author and parenting renegade Heather Shumaker. When I found out about her recently published book, I just knew she was someone I wanted to hear more from. And when you read what she has to say, I …

Don’t Just Talk About Feelings

Under my November post entitled How to Stop Ruminating, Marty left this comment: “You’re right that ruminating, at least in my case, is an attempt to figure out what’s wrong and what to do about it. So let’s say I go to the feelings behind this, and they happen to be “fearful”, “alienated”, and “grieved.” …

Looking on the Bright Side Has Its Limits

I love it when someone else carries the constructive wallowing flag for me… and does it better than I could myself. Bobbi Emel’s heartfelt post about grief can be applied to other emotions, too. Click here to read: On pain, tolerance, and why there are no bullet points Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are You Keeping Secrets From Yourself?

This is a continuation of How to Feel Whole (September 2012). One way to stay whole is to refuse to keep secrets from yourself. You know what it feels like to keep secrets. It’s trying not think about something that’s uncomfortable to think about, or taking a different perspective on something in order NOT to …

Why We NEED to Sweat the Small Stuff

Everyone has emotional pain. No one is immune to the slings and arrows of life on this earth, and most of us have unhealed hurts from our time here. We think we can let go of the pain of things that happen to us, but it’s not that easy. We didn’t choose the pain in …

No One Deserves Compassion More Than You Do

The photograph – a closeup of one person’s hand in another’s – is arresting. The hand on the right, palm up, is that of a white person. The hand lying palm-down in the white hand is that of a very small, shockingly emaciated black person. Probably a starving child. Probably in Africa. The caption reads, …