It’s Not a Pity Party If You Criticize Yourself

woman looking in mirror criticallySelf-pity has a bad rap.

When people confess to me in therapy, “I had a pity party last week,” they’re usually embarrassed about it.

They look as if they’re admitting they made a mean face at a baby or threw a plastic cup on the freeway shoulder.

Their faces say, “I know I shouldn’t do that, but I did it anyway.”

Well, I tell them — and I’m here to tell you — there’s nothing wrong with self-pity. Read More

Still Waiting For That Gold Star?

On your day off, do you feel guilty if you lie in bed all morning?

Do you get up early even when you don’t have to be anywhere, just to avoid feeling lazy?

Do you make yourself do things that aren’t necessary and that don’t affect anyone else, because they’re “the right thing to do”?

If so, you may still be waiting for an imaginary gold star.

As shocking and dismaying as it may seem, there is no gold star for policing your behavior. Read More

Confidence, Self-Esteem, and the KLT Factor

confident_womanEveryone wants to feel confident.

It seems like at least half of my therapy clients mention confidence as an area they want to work on.

But confidence isn’t something you can put on like a hat. It is a natural byproduct of knowing, liking and trusting yourself.

I recently wrote a post about this for Check it out at the following link:

Confidence, Self-Esteem, and the KLT Factor: Know, Like, Trust

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Even Good Parents Damage Kids’ Self-Esteem

It’s often been said, and not just by me, that low self-esteem is a silent epidemic.

There are millions of words bouncing around the Internet on the topic of self-esteem, whether in kids or adults.

In my view, the article you’ll find at the link below is one of the most coherent, accurate and interesting.

Morty Lefkoe’s article clearly explains the mysterious process by which good, loving parents produce children who grow up feeling like there’s something wrong with them. Read More