9 Signs of Healthy Self-Esteem

high self-esteem jumperWhat do you think of a person who always speaks well of others? Does she have high or low self-esteem?

You could argue that in order to speak well of others, one must think highly enough of oneself not to be threatened by other people’s excellence. Such a person could be thought to enjoy healthy self-esteem.

On the other hand, you might say that a person who always speaks highly of others is a people-pleaser who suffers from low self-esteem. Read More

8 Things to Absolutely Expect in Relationships

Woman receiving giftEven though there’s a lot of talk about how entitled young people are these days, I see a lack of entitlement among all age groups in my practice as a therapist.

I see people putting up with pretty poor behavior from people they love, without uttering a word of protest.

Or, if they do protest, there are no consequences when the other person ignores them and keeps on behaving the same way.

There seems to be a pervasive fear — and when I say pervasive, I mean I feel it too — of getting too … uppity. Read More

Replacing “Don’ts” With “Do’s” for Self-Esteem

sticky note on fingerAfter last week’s post on name-calling and how it ruins your self-esteem (and possibly other people’s as well), a reader called Multnoma left the following comment:

 Ok. I get that I am holding myself back by calling names. Even if only in my head. Or under my breath.
But it’s only another item on the list of what I shouldn’t do.
I don’t know what I *should* do. Where is the list for that?

Multnoma’s comment was right on the money; it’s relatively easy to come up with a “Don’t” list. Read More

Negative Self-Talk: Both Cause and Effect of Injured Self-Esteem

looking in mirrorWe can be so mean to ourselves.

“Who do you think you are?”

“Well, THAT was dumb.”

“Just shut up right now; you’re making a fool of yourself.”

And on and on. Why do we do this to ourselves?

It’s learned behavior.

No one comes out of the womb thinking, “Geez, I’m such a pathetic loser.”

This week’s post explores the impact of name-calling — even inside our own heads — on self-esteem:

Break Bones? No, but Name-Calling Can Injure Self-Esteem

Photo courtesy of www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Read More