Psychology

Read This ONLY If You’re Easily Embarrassed

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Would you be embarrassed to be seen like this?Embarrassing moments can strike at any time.

For example, many years ago, my brother and his girlfriend were enjoying lunch at one of those sushi places where the dishes come around on a conveyor belt. Whenever you’re ready for your next bite, boom! there’s fresh food floating by right in front of you. You just reach out to the conveyor belt and scoop a plate off it.

Personally, I love a good sushi train. But on that fateful day, something unexpected happened. Read More

Forget the Past? Bad Idea!

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Person on swingset, trying to forget the pastAs a therapist, I sit with many people who’d like to forget the past, along with its most piercing injuries and disappointments, but they can’t. The past won’t let go of them.

Others have already forgotten huge chunks of their personal history, but they still feel stuck in it somehow, as if the past were so much invisible waist-high goo, keeping them from striding forward with confidence.

The Past Under Attack

There’s an almost angry insistence in our culture that the past is dead; it’s supposedly over and done with, and we should just get over it, no matter what horrible injustices we suffered, or what random awfulness took place. Read More

How to Recognize When You’re Being Passive-Aggressive

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2 woman at oddsWho among us can honestly say they’ve never behaved in a passive-aggressive way?

When I’m not being assertive, passive-aggression is my go-to. I figure it’s better than outright aggression, and I don’t seem to be wired for passivity, so sometimes it feels like the best option.

There are hundreds — maybe thousands — of subtle ways to avoid being assertive.

This week’s article, in which I happen to be quoted, is a survey of just a few of the twisted moves we make to get around saying what we mean. Read More

Can Reconnection Cure Boredom?

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bored young womanI’m not often bored these days, but I certainly have been bored before.

I don’t like it. Not one bit.

I’m curious about boredom. I want to know what causes it and why some people seem to experience boredom constantly, while others rarely or never do.

Boredom feels bad, but it seems different from other feelings. What exactly is boredom, anyway?

I was puzzling over this when this article on 5 types of boredom came to my attention. Read More