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Tag Archives: self-improvement

How Much Security Can You Stand?

Woman holding paper sign with prison bars drawn in front of her face

Security is comfy, isn’t’ it? It’s like being able to stay home all day in your pajamas, surrounded by your stuff, knowing what to expect from the cat, the TV, and the kitchen faucet that drips once an hour. The big, ugly outside world isn’t there to bother you, or judge you, or expect anything from you.

What would we do without a basic sense of security? Probably not much. Security allows us a reasonable expectation of safety. Read More

7 Ways to Spring Clean Your Relationships

Now that spring is here, I thought I’d offer a few tips for some “relationship spring cleaning.”

Try these with your partner, friends, family, or even coworkers.

1. Listen more. Even if the other person already does most of the talking, how carefully do you typically listen? Challenge yourself to tune in to what they’re saying, rather than letting your mind wander.

2. Make time. The word “relationship” may be a noun, but “relate” is a verb. Read More

Should You Self-Improve or Self-Actualize?

There are two kinds of people in the personal development world. As a therapist, I’ve worked with both.

The first kind of person, let’s call him the Self-Improver, seems to be looking for specific changes in his behavior.

He seeks the kinds of changes that are hard to accomplish but, once in place, help him feel better about himself.

An example would be someone who suffers from anxiety but holds his own feet to the fire by making himself do the things that make him anxious. Read More

4 Motivation Killers and What to Do About Them

When it comes to my career, I’m definitely motivated.

As a self-employed therapist, teacher and self-help writer, I’ve always got several pots on the stove, and I rarely lack energy to do what needs to be done.

But when it comes to home improvements… Ehh. Not so much.

Oh, sure, I’d like to rearrange the living room, maybe get some new furniture. Maybe do some painting.

Actually, now that you ask, I’d like to change a lot of things about my living space. Read More