What do you think of a person who always speaks well of others? Does she have high or low self-esteem? You could argue that in order to speak well of others, one must think highly enough of oneself not to be threatened by other people’s excellence. Such a person could be thought to enjoy healthy self-esteem. On the other hand, you might say that a person who always speaks highly of others is a people-pleaser who suffers from low self-esteem. So which is it? A single trait or behavior by itself isn’t a good indicator of self-esteem. But having said …Read More
Even though there’s a lot of talk about how entitled young people are these days, I see a lack of entitlement among all age groups in my practice as a therapist. I see people putting up with pretty poor behavior from people they love, without uttering a word of protest. Or, if they do protest, there are no consequences when the other person ignores them and keeps on behaving the same way. There seems to be a pervasive fear — and when I say pervasive, I mean I feel it too — of getting too … uppity. I believe this …Read More
After last week’s post on name-calling and how it ruins your self-esteem (and possibly other people’s as well), a reader called Multnoma left the following comment: Ok. I get that I am holding myself back by calling names. Even if only in my head. Or under my breath. But it’s only another item on the list of what I shouldn’t do. I don’t know what I *should* do. Where is the list for that? Multnoma’s comment was right on the money; it’s relatively easy to come up with a “Don’t” list. This is one of those times when mental health …Read More
We can be so mean to ourselves. “Who do you think you are?” “Well, THAT was dumb.” “Just shut up right now; you’re making a fool of yourself.” And on and on. Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s learned behavior. No one comes out of the womb thinking, “Geez, I’m such a pathetic loser.” This week’s post explores the impact of name-calling — even inside our own heads — on self-esteem: Break Bones? No, but Name-Calling Can Injure Self-Esteem Photo courtesy of www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net Tina Gilbertson Latest PostsAbout Tina GilbertsonTina Gilbertson is a psychotherapist, speaker and author based in …Read More
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- Still Waiting For That Gold Star?
- Confidence, Self-Esteem, and the KLT Factor
- Even Good Parents Damage Kids’ Self-Esteem
- Self-Esteem Means How Much You Like… Others?
- Self-Esteem for the Holiday Season
- It Never Hurts to Ask
- Throw Out the Need to Be Right
- Uncover Your Natural Self-Esteem
- What Is Healthy Entitlement?
- Why We’re Ashamed of Ourselves
- Self-Acceptance: Don’t Make This Mistake
- Social Insecurity
- “I don’t want to be mean”
- Overcome the Self-Criticism Habit