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Self-Esteem for the Holiday Season

Happy young woman with Santa hatYou know what they say: Reduce, reuse, recycle.

This week I’m reducing my workload by reusing a couple of blog posts to recycle still-useful information.

I wrote the following pair of posts in 2010 for GoodTherapy.org, my favorite international therapist directory and one-stop self-help site.

If the holidays stress you out a little (or a lot), you’re definitely not alone. In some ways the holidays are good at making us feel bad.

Shopping for gifts and deciding where to spend the holidays are two issues that cause consternation throughout the land.

Hence these posts seem as relevant today as they were when I wrote them. Hope you agree!

Self-Esteem for the Holidays – Part 1

Self-Esteem for the Holidays – Part 2

Photo courtesy of www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

About Tina Gilbertson

Tina Gilbertson is a psychotherapist, speaker and author based in Denver, Colorado.
She specializes in supporting parents of estranged adult children through therapy, consulting and other resources, and offers assertiveness training and executive coaching for organizations.
The author of “Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them” and the “Guide for Parents of Estranged Adult Children,” Tina is often featured in the media as an expert on communication and relationships.
Her blog on PsychologyToday.com is called “Constructive Wallowing.”

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0 Responses to "Self-Esteem for the Holiday Season"

  • Em Jay
    December 14, 2013 - 10:27 am Reply

    As usual Tina, you’ve hit the nail on the head!

    I’m an introvert, only child and my family are dead. I’ve really only got one close friend. For years, I’ve mostly done my own thing at the holidays. Occasionaly I’ll go to someone elses house (at their invitation), but I’m always aware that I’m invited because they know I’ll be on my own. Nine times out of ten I don’t accept this invitation. There’s something wonderfully relaxing about not scurrying about buying gifts for people you almost never see (especially if you don’t have much money), and spending the time in your own home (or with friends or family) as you choose yourself.

    A friend of my Grans liked to go out somewhere for Christmas, and one year I told her about my own ‘relaxing’ time. She said it sounded wonderful, but I don’t think she ever had the courage to do it herself. I wish more people would follow the advice in the Good Therapy posts, maybe then they’d actually enjoy the holidays, instead of getting stressed out about them.

    Add to this, the increasing commercial nature of certain holidays. For me the holidays should be about spending quality time with those closest to you. With emphasis on quality.

    • Tina Gilbertson
      December 14, 2013 - 12:34 pm Reply

      I’m so glad the post struck a chord with you, Em Jay. It takes courage to go against the societal flow, but the rewards can be substantial. Here’s wishing you a merry (and very high quality) Christmas!

    • Zanib
      December 14, 2013 - 6:55 pm Reply

      I love your reply & Tina’s. Christmas is nothing more than a commercial paradise and our nightmare. It not based on good cheers but feeds of your wallet. We all know Santa is as real as the fairy dust ….so why get stressed?

      • Em Jay
        December 15, 2013 - 6:15 am Reply

        Couldn’t agree more Zanib! For me Christmas is a relaxing holiday, and a chance to recharge my batteries for the year ahead. Also in the UK shops, Chrismas seems to come earlier every year, with shops selling Christmas decorations from late September onwards. Funny, I thought Christmas was in December? Christmas, for a lot of families seems to be run by corporate greed. I’d rather be a lone wolf doing my own thing than a stressed out sheep following the crowds. Hope you and Tina have a stress free Christmas!

  • Sherry
    December 28, 2013 - 10:56 am Reply

    Hope you had a restful Christmas. Are holidays by Mosloms, Hindus and others as stressful? Is the commercial greed adding on this stress? My aunty goes away each year than be with us. We miss not having her but I understand. She is single & it becomes to much for her to buy every one a gift, come to our place etc. She gets into a bit of a frump around this time…again I can’t blame her. I am in a bit of a frump this year & I am 12 years old. I did no get every thing on my list on time, beside it’s cold & I am just upset : (

    • Tina Gilbertson
      December 29, 2013 - 7:10 pm Reply

      Sherry, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been in a frump. I hope there’s someone in your life you can talk to about how you feel — a family member, a friend, a teacher or another adult. If you’re feeling really bad and you’re not sure who to tell, try your school counselor or favorite teacher. Thanks for stopping by, and all my best for a happy new year.

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