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What Scares You in Relationships?

scared couple in movie theater

Some of us barrel into relationships as if the very fact of being alone could cause severe itching.

Others are skittish, shying away from promising new people or finding ways to engage while subtly keep them at a distance. Ultimately, the skittishness takes a toll (barreling into relationships can wreak havoc too, but that’s for another post).

I’m a strong believer that most of the trouble in relationships is caused by fear: Fear of not being loved, of being taken for granted or taken advantage of, of being “found out” as not worth someone’s time, and the list goes on.

Three of the most common of these fears are abandonment, rejection and humiliation. I wrote about how and why to get the root of these in a recent post.

Essentially, we need to recognize that the outcomes we fear most are those we’ve already survived… because in one form or another, they’ve already happened.

The post is here:

3 Common Fears that May Be Affecting Your Relationships | Psychology Today

Don’t be afraid to let me know what you think.

About Tina Gilbertson

Tina Gilbertson is a psychotherapist, speaker and author based in Denver, Colorado. She specializes in supporting parents of estranged adult children through therapy, consulting and other resources, and offers assertiveness training and executive coaching for organizations. The author of "Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them" and the "Guide for Parents of Estranged Adult Children," Tina is often featured in the media as an expert on communication and relationships. Her blog on PsychologyToday.com is called "Constructive Wallowing."
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