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Random Reflections

Random Reflections

Forgiveness is Not a Menu Option

Every time I talk about forgiveness, I run into disagreement. When I make the statement, “Forgiveness is not a choice,” I always get pushback from people who think I’m saying something else. What they think I’m saying is, “Hey, you know what would be fun? Why don’t you hang on to your hurt on purpose and refuse to forgive the person who hurt you, even though you so totally could forgive them if you wanted to? Doesn’t that sound great?” For the record, that’s not what I’m saying. And it drives me a little nuts when people think it is.  What I’m trying to say is that forgiveness …

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Getting in Fights with Strangers

I saw a video on Facebook. Two drivers, apparently contesting a parking space, were ramming each other’s cars. They were using their vehicles like bumper cars at an amusement park. But there was nothing amusing about the video. Below the video, people had left thousands of comments.  Many decried the stupidity of the combatants. I don’t think low intelligence had anything to do with it. I saw rage. And I’ve been there. I’ve never rammed someone else’s car with my own, but I have felt like it. Wanted to do it. Fantasized about it. It Takes Two Scenes like the one …

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On the 12th Day of Therapy…

When my partner, Mike, first heard the Christmas carol The 12 Days of Christmas as a child, he thought the “partridge in a pear tree” was something about a “juniper tree.” I’m impressed that he knew the word “juniper” before he ever heard of a partridge. My own experience with The 12 Days of Christmas is that, as much as I respect holiday traditions, this is one that’s fun to monkey with. You can sing about “the 12 days of…” just about anything, making up lyrics to fit the theme. I guess you wouldn’t want a word with more than …

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How Much Security Can You Stand?

Security is comfy, isn’t’ it? It’s like being able to stay home all day in your pajamas, surrounded by your stuff, knowing what to expect from the cat, the TV, and the kitchen faucet that drips once an hour. The big, ugly outside world isn’t there to bother you, or judge you, or expect anything from you. What would we do without a basic sense of security? Probably not much. Security allows us a reasonable expectation of safety. Without that, we’d pretty much need to spend all our time worrying and planning for disaster. Of course, having security means sticking …

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