Estrangement counseling for parents rejected by adult children
Are you in pain over your relationship with your adult child? In my experience, parents in your shoes too often don’t seek help. When they do, they’re looking for practical solutions, e.g., “How do I get my daughter to talk to me?’ or “How can I encourage my son to answer my emails?”
Reconciliation may be achieved, but isn’t sustained, by focusing on do’s and dont’s.
Yes, we can talk about what to say in your next email, so you don’t accidentally push them away.
We can discuss how to handle well-meaning friends or relatives who only make you feel worse.
But these are tactics rather than permanent repairs. Paint-by-numbers instruction will only take you so far before a “relapse” happens. Sooner or later, old dynamics will begin to surface and cause problems between you and your child again.
To have a permanent, positive impact on their relationships with estranged adult children, parents must turn a loving eye inward as the first order of business. You need to heal yourself before you can heal that relationship.
Therapy can be a big help with that task.
Healing First, Reconciliation Second
The most important person in your life is you, and you deserve to heal. This doesn’t mean giving up on the relationship with your child! Rather, it means improving your relationship with yourself first, in preparation for a stronger and more vibrant connection with important others.
In my experience, this requires self-compassion on the part of parents. You may feel beleaguered, disempowered and even broken by the estrangement. I assure you, there’s a whole person under all that pain. Someone who’s waiting to be discovered, loved and healed back to wholeness so that s/he can move forward in life.
Are you ready to put yourself first? Are you ready to heal what was hurt before your child was ever estranged from you, maybe before they were even born? I’d love to support you in knitting back together two relationships: That with yourself, and that with your adult child.
If you’re ready to explore therapy, please call or email me to schedule your first meeting with no cost and no obligation.
If you prefer, you can schedule a free, 50-minute in-person meeting with no obligation whatsoever.
Not sure about 1-on-1 estrangement counseling? Check out my Estrangement page for a self-help resource that’s quick and affordable.
Hope for a Better Future
You should know that there’s hope. I hear success stories regularly from parents who reclaimed their children by first reclaiming themselves.
For a taste of my approach and philosophy, please do have a look at the Estrangement page. From there you can read the first two chapters of my Guide for Parents of Estranged Adult Children and possibly start thinking about your relationship with your child in a new way.
Currently, I’m accepting clients in Colorado and Oregon for individual therapy. Unfortunately, I’m not generally able to provide therapy to parents in other states. But you may schedule a psycho-educational consultation if you wish.
If you’re in the Denver area, we can meet in person. In Oregon and other parts of Colorado, online therapy and phone therapy are both available.
Please call for an appointment or contact me by email at your convenience.
If You’re Not In Colorado or Oregon
If you’ve read the Guide for Parents of Estranged Children and have questions about the concepts in it, I’m available for short-term psycho-educational consulting only (e.g., 1 to 5 meetings) by distance.
Such consultations are not psychotherapy, nor are they intended to replace in-person counseling, which I strongly recommend for anyone experiencing family conflict, unresolved grief, or estrangement from important others.
Get Started Today
For online therapy, I use VSee: HIPAA-compliant telemedicine technology – Used by NASA astronauts aboard the International Space Station.
Skype, Google Hangouts, or another video conferencing service may be used if you prefer. Please contact me to discuss privacy and security issues before deciding on a platform.