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How to Feel Whole

What’s so great about feeling whole? Everything!

When you’re a whole person, you’re empowered. You’ve got access to all your resources, especially motivation, interest and energy. You can accomplish what you set out to do.

More importantly, being whole means you’re ready to live the life that’s meant for you.

Wholeness is your passport to your destiny.

The Whole Truth

Relationships, work and all kinds of projects are easier when you feel whole. You bring your highest self to every area of your life.

The opposite of wholeness is feeling fragmented or empty inside. Many people aren’t even aware that this is how they feel every single day.

They’ve forgotten what wholeness feels like.

If you think you might have forgotten too, don’t despair. You can move back toward wholeness again by following these guidelines:

1. Don’t keep secrets from yourself

Check in regularly with yourself and share information, especially about how you feel. It’s okay to know what you know.

2. End self-criticism

Criticize your actions if you must, but never your character. Be your own biggest fan.

3. Listen to your heart

Your heart is your compass. Heed its messages, and follow them faithfully.

I’ll expand on each of these in future posts.

Meanwhile, what are your thoughts on feeling whole?


Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

About Tina Gilbertson

Tina Gilbertson is a psychotherapist, speaker and author based in Denver, Colorado. She specializes in supporting parents of estranged adult children through therapy, consulting and other resources, and offers assertiveness training and executive coaching for organizations. The author of "Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them" and the "Guide for Parents of Estranged Adult Children," Tina is often featured in the media as an expert on communication and relationships. Her blog on PsychologyToday.com is called "Constructive Wallowing."
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0 Responses to "How to Feel Whole"

  • multnoma
    September 29, 2012 - 9:56 am Reply

    yes, but…. 🙂

    re: secrets – I don’t trust my judgement about what I know or feel. Or is that just another way to be self-critical?

    • Tina Gilbertson
      September 30, 2012 - 5:39 pm Reply

      Multnoma, great question! The short answer is yes, lack of self-trust may be a subtle form of self-criticism. It’s like saying to yourself, “What do YOU know, anyway?”

      That’s absurd, since who knows better than you do how you feel and what you think about your life as it unfolds around you?

      Developing self-trust is critical. You *must* trust what you know and how you feel if you want to thrive as a human being.

      Validation is a big help in developing self-trust. Hang out with the most validating people you know. For more on validation, see my article at http://tinagilbertson.com/validation.html

      Thanks so much for your comment. I know many others who feel the same way.

  • timethief
    October 6, 2012 - 8:05 am Reply

    I do not believe there is one and only one romantic, sweep you off your feet soul-mate out there for each of us. If we embrace those myths we negate the truth which is that we are all whole, and we overlook the other possible partners we could form mutually supportive, and loving long term relationships with. Likewise I don’t believe we need children to complete us either. Holding onto those myths that we need another to complete us ie. make us whole is absurd.

    • Tina Gilbertson
      October 7, 2012 - 3:24 pm Reply

      Well said, Timethief. Too often we look outside ourselves for the pieces we feel we’re missing. While I think that connection to others is important for our health, I agree that we can’t really find that sense of completeness in other people. Thanks for your interesting contribution to this discussion.

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