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Estrangement Guide – TOC

What’s in the Guide for Parents of Estranged Adult Children?

  • Sample emails, so you learn how NOT to push them away
  • Rules of engagement for establishing peaceful, positive contact
  • Tips for self-care to give you physical, mental and emotional strength while you work on this
  • Emotional healing tools to prepare the groundwork for a better relationship with your child (and yourself)
  • Targeted advice for specific situations (see the Table of Contents)
  • An assertiveness primer to help you establish and protect personal boundaries in all your relationships
  • Guidelines for improving your self-esteem, because change is harder when self-esteem is low
  • Over 100 pages of content from which to craft your personal reconciliation plan
  • And more

The information and tools in the Guide can change your life. Read what other parents are saying about it.

Here’s what you WON’T get in the Guide for Parents of Estranged Adult Children:

  • Academic information that’s not interesting or practical
  • Dozens of case studies that have nothing to do with you
  • Useless advice (e.g., “Just don’t think about it”)
  • Mindless positive-thinking fluff
  • The same old stuff you’ve already seen

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Table of Contents

Chapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 6Chapter 7Chapter 8Chapter 9Extras

The Epidemiology of Estrangement (1)

Estrangement Changes Everything (2)

No One Wants This (3)

Self-Compassion is Key (5)

The Problem of Shame (6)

Who’s Got the Power? (8)

Risk Factors for Estrangement (11)

Dealing with Differentiation (12)

If You and Your Child Were Best Friends (15)

Differentiation and the Parent (17)

Clues (18)

Family History (22)

Communication Problems (23)

Emotional Literacy (25)

Getting Your Needs Met (29)

In an Ideal World… (30)

The Needs We Share (33)

The Emotional Bank Account (35)

Preparing to Reconcile (38)

The Challenge of Taking Perspective (39)

Cultivating Self-Compassion (42)

Your Doormat Alarm (43)

Playing the Parent (45)

Support for the Parent: Using a Counselor (47)

Action Plan (49)

“Should I Tell Them What I’m Doing?” (50)

Commit to the Role (52)

Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Child (53)

Guidelines for the Parent (55)

Making Contact (62)

Dealing with Silence (63)

Validation: Not Just for Parking  Anymore (65)

What to Say When You Write to Them (68)

Definite No-No’s (70)

Close Contact: Phone and In-Person Meetings (73)

Enough Remorse, But Not Too Much (74)

If They Ask You Not to Contact Them (76)

If Your Child Has a Mental Illness (80)

Complaints About Your Behavior (80)

If Your Child Wants to Talk About the Past (82)

If You’ve Been Accused of Being “Overbearing” or “Controlling” (83)

When You’re Caught Between Your Kid(s) and Your Spouse (85)

What to Say When Asked if You Have Children (88)

When Someone Has Turned Them Against You (89)

Financial Issues (90)

Allegations of Sexual Abuse (92)

What Tomorrow Brings (94)

Becoming Your Own Parent (95)

Increasing Assertiveness (95)

Enhancing Your Self-Esteem (99)

Feeling is Healing (100)

Putting It All Together (105)

Resources (106)

Appendix A: How to Apologize Well (108)

Appendix B: Validation (111)


Read the Guide on your computer or tablet screen, or print it out and take it with you. On a computer, you can
  • Use the Table of Contents bookmark links to navigate
  • Search for terms using Edit –> Find (or Control + F)
  • Highlight words, phrases or whole paragraphs with the built-in highlighter
  • Type notes for yourself using the Comment feature
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PLEASE NOTE: You’ll receive your PDF instantly via email. This is not a physical book.

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