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Constructive Wallowing

Constructive Wallowing

 

Why We Need to Embrace Self-Pity

I love self-pity. It’s so necessary, because nobody knows how bad things can get for us sometimes like we do. The only problem I can see with self-pity is that we don’t do it enough! “But what about all those self-pitying types who go on and on about what a bum deal they’ve gotten?,” you might ask. “Don’t they have enough self-pity for all of us?” I’m glad you asked. Those so-called self-pitying types are only playing at self-pity. They talk a good game, but on the inside they’re their own harshest critics. They continually abandon themselves, refusing to engage …

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The Surprising Upside to Wallowing in Despair

Who is there among us who hasn’t felt the chill of despair at one time or another? With the cold, gray winter enveloping so many of us, I thought this might be a good time to review some emotional survival tips, and underline the happy truth that wallowing in despair can bring rich rewards. There is such a thing as severe depression. That’s what medication is for, and it can literally be a life-saver. But for the millions suffering from losses in the past or the present while still going about their business, working through those sad, bad feelings with …

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5 Ways to Feel (and Heal) Your Feelings

You’ve heard me say many times that the reason to let yourself feel bad is so that you can feel better sooner. So how exactly do you do that? It’s one thing to say, “Feel your feelings,” but what exactly does that look like? In essence, it means honoring your real feelings, and yourself, when you’re hurting. Erin Leyba’s wonderful article offers some really practical tips for doing just that. Enjoy! 5 Ways to Honor Negative Feelings Instead of Distracting Away From Them Photo courtesy of www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net Tina Gilbertson Latest PostsAbout Tina GilbertsonTina Gilbertson is a psychotherapist, speaker and author …

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How to Talk to Yourself When You’re Upset

Have you been using the T-R-U-T-H Technique for getting past difficult feelings after an upset? Maybe there was an argument that left you feeling icky. Maybe someone said or did something that hurt your feelings. Maybe you hurt someone else’s feelings. Instead of replaying the event over and over in your head, which just makes you feel worse and gets you stuck in those rotten feelings… The T-R-U-T-H Technique gives you a way to make your wallowing constructive. In this week’s post I look more closely at the first “T” of the Technique, which stands for “Tell yourself the situation.” …

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