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Two Parenting Styles, One Clear Winner

parent and child playingThis isn’t a parenting blog, but parenting affects all of us, parents and non-parents alike.

We were all kids once, and it’s instructive to reflect on our experiences so that we can both empathize with kids, understand ourselves better and even deal with employees more effectively.

Yes, that’s right. What’s good for kids is good for anyone who reports to you.

Consistency. Compassion. Boundaries.

And the things that are bad for kids are also bad for employees.

Inconsistency. Temper tantrums (yours, not theirs). Too much candy.

What appears but is not emphasized in the following article by Kathy Hardie-Williams is that the best parenting unequivocally entails discipline.

Rules and boundaries are enforced consistently, not as the mood strikes.

They’re applied not with frightening anger, but calmly and kindly.

Think of an iron hand in a velvet glove. It’s firm and soft at the same time.

Hard to achieve? That’s an understatement.

The easiest way to parent this way… is to have been parented this way.

Models are useful when it comes to interpersonal behavior. Or anything else, for that matter.

But education is the next best thing.

Authoritarian and Authoritative Parenting Styles: Which Is Best?

Photo courtesy of www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

About Tina Gilbertson

Tina Gilbertson is a psychotherapist, speaker and author based in Denver, Colorado. She specializes in supporting parents of estranged adult children through therapy, consulting and other resources, and offers assertiveness training and executive coaching for organizations. The author of "Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them" and the "Guide for Parents of Estranged Adult Children," Tina is often featured in the media as an expert on communication and relationships. Her blog on PsychologyToday.com is called "Constructive Wallowing."
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0 Responses to "Two Parenting Styles, One Clear Winner"

  • connectdd
    November 1, 2014 - 9:42 am Reply

    Great reminder that love includes good boundaries but doesn’t squash the kids in the process. To be firm and calm and not angry in limit setting is the challenge, esp in the teen years. 🙂

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