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Forgiveness is Not a Menu Option

Man alone in restaurantEvery time I talk about forgiveness, I run into disagreement.

When I make the statement, “Forgiveness is not a choice,” I always get pushback from people who think I’m saying something else.

What they think I’m saying is, “Hey, you know what would be fun? Why don’t you hang on to your hurt on purpose and refuse to forgive the person who hurt you, even though you so totally could forgive them if you wanted to? Read More

Why You DON’T Need to Stay Positive

Young boy select between positive and negative expressionsMy old doctor’s office handed out a brochure called 7 Tips for Healthy Living. One of those tips was “Keep a positive mental outlook.”

I like that they linked physical and emotional health, but I’m not sure they got the details quite right.

We’ve all heard of people who bring joy to everyone around them with their sunny outlook, yet succumb to cancer in the prime of their lives.

And there’s also the cliche about mean old people who are “too ornery to die.” They’re not positive at all, but they’re healthy as horses. Read More

For Those Thinking of Taking a Leap

take a leap ... slowlyIn 2001, I took a leap.

I up and quit my sexy job in TV to pursue a more meaningful career in the helping professions.

It was a needed change, but getting there wasn’t all sunshine and roses. Overnight I went from HBO to the H-E-L-L of unemployment.

I was living in New York City at the time, and in a feat of bad timing I quit right before 9/11. Suddenly there were thousands of people out of work, flooding the temp agencies where I was trying to stay afloat until I could start a new career. Read More

Fat On the Inside

Russian doll inside othersNo one has ever called me fat.

A boy named Howard called me “bean pole” and “Mother Goose legs” in the 5th grade. I was skinny and my legs were long, in case the Mother Goose reference confused you.

(It still confuses me. I thought Mother Goose was an old woman who was not particularly tall. Tell me if I’m wrong.)

But I’ve never been called fat. Not even once. Unlike millions of other people, I bear no scars from fat-bashing bigots. Read More